Why am I writing in here? Im really not sure. Today has been pretty weird. Its been a long long time since Ive written in here. Winter break is kinda boring, Had a party for my birthday, wasnt really that great, Had fun being with Josh though. Today I helped Alex clean his room, and found somthing that brought back a lot of memories. Whats funny Is Id love more than anything to forget about half the shit in my life, yet I cant. I have a complete head ache, and I havnt eatin since this morning. Wow, it feels like how I use to be. I was supose to hang out with someone today, but he never called me back, and Josh got introuble so I had to come home. So to pass the time Not only for me, but Alex, we went over to his house and hung out for a while, Cleaned his room. and Decorated his walls with pictures I made him lol. Yeah....Now Becca is spending the night. Not really sure what im doing tommorow. Me and Josh are suppose to hang out, but Idk, right now I feel like some alone time. My head has been spinning none stop and I think its time for some "me time" or get away for a while time...Idk Id like to surround myself around somthing new, perhaps go do somthing different for once.  Oh well Im out

All I wanted was for him to ask what was wrong.
For him to care about how I felt.
For him to hug me & hold me,
& promise that everything will be okay.
I need him tonight, but he's not here.
He always has a way of never being there.

Her feelings she hides
Her dreams she can't find
She's losing her mind
She's falling behind
And she can't find her place
She's losing her faith
she's falling from grace
She's all over the place

P.s if you read this, thats pretty sad... lol

Eh...could be better?

I mean, I definitly dont have anything to complain about, I have friends, family, shelter, food etc. and I Should be very greatful. But somthing is just missing and Im trying everything I possibly can to forget about it. I think im just gonna take a break from guys period. Im not ready for anything. I just want to burry it all away, but it just doesnt work that way. "time" heels all wounds. My ass. Its been forever it seems in my eyes, and It still feels like it just happend. Its gay, and I recommend, dont ever make some one everything, because once they leave you with all their lies and I dont care's, you will be left with nothing. Start from scratch and move on. I just dont even know where to begin. Its like he under my skin, and im scratching away, to get him out. And I end up hurting myself even more...
is that a good analogy? I gotta get over this, I just wish I knew How

And one of these days my heat wont drop to the floor every time i look at you

She waits for him to say I LOVE YOU but he tells no more lies.

OKAY;

For starters

I SUCK AT LIFE...

today, Jordan came over. and we hung out and stupid me was like hey i wanna drive ur truck. (stick shift) So I make it all the way around the block JUST fine...and he puts it in neutral and starts fucking with me, Laura pops the curb and BAM right into my fucking mailbox. and ofcourse he is yelling and im panicing lol....Yeah pretty bad, and Now I feel terrible. Then later he brought me subway and we hung out til 9:30. It was fun hanging out with him. Idk every time I see him my day gets better. ALSO I went to Stegs house WHICH he is my new neighbor!!! F YEAH. and we played around bc there was no furniture and shit in it yet. and Me and Kratky traded clothes. It was funny. Then Jordan tried on my jeans and now they both want to borrow them. Well im out
SCHOOL TOMMOROW YAY!!!.....NOT

-Me

I hope you stick around, because your worth wasting my days with <3

You make me nervous, and I love every bit of it.

He puts a smile on my face, without even trying. <3

Im so glad you found ur way back into my life.

So today was fun, hope everyone had a happy New years, I sure did.
Been hanging out with my friends alot. Today went to the mall with Kevin and George, and for the first time this break I did not spend 1 day alone! HOW EXCITING lol. Then the best part of today was Jordan came over, its been a while since ive seen him.

Well IM out

-Laura

Why cant I get him out of my head?